DVD fic commentary meme

[bluespirit]

Snagged from pennyplainknits...

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

This is open to all of my fic (even my Pros stuff over at my website - though it was a while ago when I wrote that & so I can't vouch for my memory. *g*)

Comments

[rifleman-s.livejournal.com]

This looks like fun!

"Green Glass" (what else? *grin*) - Chapter 5:

"They came to a stop near the imposing edifice of the Tate Modern, finding a quiet, sheltered position by a guard wall high above the inky waters of the Thames. Looking out across the river the city skyline beyond was a tableau of dark silhouettes picked out with thousands of tiny lights and in the distance traffic rumbled across the bridge, the white and red lights looking like a river of diamonds and rubies snaking their way to Blackfriars.

Turning away from the London night, Orlando looked at Sean.

"Are you okay?" Sean asked, stepping a little closer and gently stroking Orlando’s cheek. The touch was warm and intimate.

Orlando breathed out softly and nodded, his eyes never leaving Sean’s.

"You are *so* beautiful…." Sean whispered, his quiet voice roughening slightly with emotion. "I can’t seem to help myself…."

Orlando swallowed as he looked into suddenly serious green eyes. Sean’s hand was soothing as it stroked along his jaw and gentle fingertips ghosted over his mouth, slowly tracing the outline of his lips.

"Oh," Orlando’s lips parted at the light touch. He could feel the connection - the *spark* - between them grow stronger. It flared and danced, smouldering to life and threatening to ignite at any moment. Was he ready for the fierceness of this inferno?

Seriousness slowly dissolved as Sean’s smile returned, bringing with it an added intensity as if he too felt the slow burn arcing between them.

Orlando knew that he should be careful, he hardly knew this man after all, but he felt helpless…bewitched…. He was falling in love and his head didn’t know if it was the right thing to do but Orlando could feel it in his heart, he was captivated - Sean was the *one*.

Sean leaned slowly towards him. "May I kiss you, Orlando?" He whispered. "Orli?"

Orlando smiled as flames consumed him. "Yes, please…."

The soft touch of Sean’s lips to his own was like nothing he’d ever imagined, nothing he’d ever experienced. The moment was like a catalyst, an emotional damn burst. Suddenly he felt more alive than ever before and he craved more - more of the gentle press of those full lips, more of the whisper of shared breath. It felt that until now he’d only been living half a life, how could he have not known? Sean filled and inflamed his senses and all with one single, delicate caress."

*hug*

[bluespirit-star.livejournal.com]

It's actually been a while since I wrote this & I had to stop for a moment & really think about it. :-)

Reading it again now it seems almost overly romantic - the choice of language is very lush & emotionally intense - but this was their first kiss & I think it could stand it. It was also Orli's first real experience of falling in love (& his only of course as he & Sean are together forever! ♥) & so I think it needed to have some strong imagery.
I also liked the idea that there was the night time backdrop of London framing this scene but what happened between them was very private & intimate.

Um, I'm not sure if I've told you what you wanted to know? *g*

[rifleman-s.livejournal.com]

Oh yes - thank you!

"...the night time backdrop of London framing this scene..." that was why it remained one of the scenes that always stayed with me. There were many others, too of course *wink*, but this one was special.

Although I dip into it from time to time (especially the hallowe'en party at this time of year), you're right in that your style has changed a little since this was written. Oh not any 'better' or 'worse', but this was an early story in your writing career, and as in life, one matures. However, you can always be very proud of "Green Glass". :)

[bluespirit-star.livejournal.com]

You're right - I think my writing style has (hopefully) matured & is perhaps a little more thoughtful now (& not quite as overly emotional. *g*) But saying that, Green Glass was a sort of fairytale & so I think perhaps a more 'flamboyant' style suited it well enough. *g*

Do you know, it's been so long since I read this again that for a moment I went 'Halloween party?' & then I remembered! LOL
Thank you for reminding me - I do still love this story, despite me having moved on a little in my writing since then. :-)