Thanks so much, N.
To be honest it's not so much what happened - but my reaction to it. I actually made myself ill & couldn't sleep. It's given me a shock & made me realise that I need to keep some distance if I'm going to stay emotionally well.
I certainly don't intend to leave lj or fandom - just spend less time online. I want to concentrate more on the writing & art side of my fandom time & regain the joy.
*hugs*